Now that the cake is out of the tin, so-to-speak, I thought it might be fun just to go back over a few previous blog posts and, you know… fill in the gaps.
So. Here goes….
Read: I am still in absolute shock about an incredibly personal, life-changing matter that today, (the day before Husband officially leaves college and I have to get through an 80’s-themed leavers’ “ball” without vodka), I am in no position to talk about. We move across the country in less than a week; I am distraught at the thought of leaving family, friends and an extremely cushy lifestyle behind… and yet am still completely and utterly distracted by this exciting, yet currently terrifying, secret.
So. I know…
Let’s pretend it’s not happening and unleash something just as private and unneccessary on the blogging world instead!
Ohhh… How about that time at church you had a turd that wouldn’t flush?!
Yesss! Perfectly imperfect blogging material! Mother would be so proud…
Read: I have become so accustomed to living in this community that I don’t think I can actually remember how to parent (or, come to think of it, function as a normal human being), alone. I mean, how on earth are you supposed to have a new baby without meal rotas, free babysitting and a Facebook group that pretty much guarantees a knock on the door from Her-at-number-5 within seconds of posting a request?! What’s more, how on earth are you supposed to parent three under-fives without being able to immediately turf two of them out of the front door and towards instant playmates whenever the chaos descends?!
This is unchartered territory.
Quite frankly, I’m bricking it.
“Living Out of Boxes*”
Read: I want my new neighbours to be my old neighbours right now and if one more person doesn’t knock on the door with cake, I’ll cry!
(*Post since deleted out of bloggers’ shame… three people spoke to me immediately after posting and I was so embarrassed I really did cry. Ruddy hormones!)
Also read: We unpacked EVERYTHING…. in two days!!! I consequently spent the next three days in bed. Shaking.
It was worth it.
Stomach bug:
Own vomit.
Kids’ vomit.
Morning Sickness.
One bucket.
No Husband.
Nuff said.
Read: All these hormones and I didn’t cry?! What’s that about…?
“Clergy WAGS: What Not to Wear”
Fast forward 6 weeks:
“These florals are all that fits me right now…” (Read in the voice of Regina George, a la Mean Girls)
Since Husband was ordained, Wife has expanded rapidly. Our new trees have shed enough fruit to stock a market, the kids groups have closed for summer and the rain has started pouring (standard). I have therefore spent most days wearing frumpy, oversized floral dresses, making jam and baking excessive amounts of (actual and metaphorical) cake.
Owning the stereotype there folks.
Owning it.
(#owned.)
Ebay.
Oh Ebay.
It didn’t have to be like this.
But if life is smiles and small talk and nice…
You scratch my dark, hormonal itch!!!
Also on this post: the dream thing really did blow my mind! Largely because I’m having so many dodgy dreams these days that I’m running out of friends I can look in the eye…
We made it! We’re here!
We got the marvellous all-clear!
Get that cake out of the tin…
and let the over-sharing begin!
Fitted tops and heart-to-hearts galore,
No need to hide the Pregnacare no more!
To an open book: always bliss.
I guess some of us are just wired like this!
Thanks for reading along 🙂
starsinclayjars 
Hiya, from Jackie, ladies meeting, St marks. Really enjoying your blog and don’t worry about having three under 5s, you’ll only be demented till you lick them all into shape. Just think of the fun you’re going to have with them all!
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Haha thank you 🙂 Oh yes it is exciting really, we’re very thankful… just praying I can do it justice! Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂 Xx
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