“Why we move house?”

“We haven’t love, we’re on holiday.”

“But this is our new house?”

“No. We’re here for two weeks.”

“What about our old house?”

“Don’t worry it’s still there; we just came to stay here for a holiday.”

“Why?”

“Well because sometimes it’s nice to be somewhere different and do things you don’t normally do, isn’t it?”

“Why?”

“Well, because it’s nice to relax somewhere different and have a break from all of the things you’re normally busy doing now, isn’t it?”

“But why we move house?”

“We haven’t, we’re on holiday-”

“Why?”

“Well, because sometimes it’s nice to-”

“Why we not live in our old house no more?”

“We do, we’re just having a holiday.”

“Why?”

“Because, sometimes it’s nice to…”

“I miss our house.”

“You do? Already?”

“Yes, I miss our doll house.”

“Oh ok-”

“And my bike.”

“Well, we’re only away for 2 weeks -”

“And our lawnmower.”

“Riiiight…”

“Why we move house?”

“We haven’t moved house, darling. We’re just on holiday. Having a little rest, in a different house, then going back to our house.”

“But when we move house?”

“We moved last summer. Remember?”

“But when we move house?”

“We haven’t. We’re on holiday.”

“No! When we move house AGAIN?”

“OH…. you mean next time? Not for a long time. Don’t worry.”

“Can I take my bike there?”

“Where?”

“Our next new house.”

“Yes, but-”

“And my fishing net?”

“Yes.”

“And our lawnmower?”

“Yes!”

“When we move house can I have a new fishing net?”

“If you need one, but really-”

“Oh, oh, Mummy can I have a pink room when we move house?!”

“And me! I want blue!”

“Kids! We are not moving house!”

“Never?”

“Well no, not never, but-”

“After Santa?’

“Seriously. Stop. It’s ages away. You do not need to worry about that now. Enjoy your holiday.”

“But can we bring our lawnmower to our new house?”

“What is it with the lawnmower?!”

“Don’t leave the lawnmower!”

“Really, no one is leaving anything anywhere! We are on holiday. We are going back. You don’t have to worry about it now.”

“But CAN we take our lawnmower to our new house?!”

“Yes!”

“Now?”

“No. Not now.”

“WHY?! I miss our lawnmower!”

“We are on holiday. WE ARE NOT MOVING HOUSE!”

“…. why?”

“Because, we only just-”

“But WHEN?!”

“Not for ages and ages and ages! Ok?”

“Ok.”

(Pause for effect).

“… why?”

.

.

.

No rest for the wicked!